With so many things afoot at home and abroad, it's often difficult to know where to start. The beginning seems like a good place, and where do most tales of confusion and controversy begin but in high school?
Before we go there, let's quickly address the songlist that accompanied my last soapy and sudsy adventure.
Showering Songs
- Jacqueline, by Franz Ferdinand
- Dance Hall Days, by Wang Chung
- Purple Haze, by the Jimi Hendrix Experience
- Rock and Roll is King, by the Electric Light Orchestra
- Hey Little Girl, by Bad Manners
- Twilight, by Jon and Vangelis
Looking at the above list, I can see certain areas of relevance, particularly to the Roy Moore election campaign and its revolting candidate, who recently described scoping out his future wife while she was at a dance rehearsal. She was fifteen years old at the time.
Archbishop MacDonald High School
I went to a Catholic academic high school on the west end of the city of Edmonton from 1988 to 1991. As my scholastic career advanced, I began to start coaching and volunteering for the various extracurricular clubs and activities, like debating, public speaking, and Reach for the Top (general knowledge trivia). One of the younger ladies that I advised was named Darya, and her mother was on the faculty as one of the senior maths teachers. It was not surprising in a high school environment that she wouldn't want to carry her mother's name around, so she used her father's surname.What is the point of all of this? Try and follow my logic.
Darya Fustukian was born in the mid-1970s in Edmonton, Alberta at around the same time that Bryan Fustukian was headlining a country rock band in the area. One of the more notable band members and creative influences in that band was Billy Cowsill, of The Cowsills.
It is entirely feasible, therefore, that I went to high school with a girl whose godfather was the inspiration for the character of Keith Partridge, played by David Cassidy, who just died yesterday at the age of 67.
It's a stretch, but one should always work to make current events relevant.
Zimbabwe
At this point, it looks as though it is all over bar the shouting, but the 37-year despotic reign of Robert Mugabe has come to a close. The doddering old bastard has finally called it quits, amid rumours that he has done so in exchange for complete immunity for himself and his family. He, his wife, and their children have been emptying the till of the diamond-rich country for decades, and I'm sure they'll relinquish the absolute power they enjoyed in exchange for a lifetime of exorbitant and decadent luxury. They'll no doubt purchase some penthouses in Dubai and while away the years racing expensive supercars and drinking bottles of exquisite champagne.While the history is somewhat muddled, the present is eerily clear. Zimbabwe's independence, first as Southern Rhodesia declared independence from the UK, and then later, as black militant nationalists forced Southern Rhodesia to temporarily recolonialize in order to declare independence again as Zimbabwe, is a bit tough to understand. Some historical figures, such as Zimbabwe's first black Prime Minister Bishop Abel Muzorewa have been erased. The legacy of political moderation has been washed away as surely as the thousands of Ndabele that Mugabe tortured and murdered as soon as he had pushed aside the last remnants of the Lancaster House constitution. The massacres of the Ndabele has become known as the gukurahundi - the rains that wash away the harvest chaff.
So the dictator has successfully expunged most of his atrocities with his bombastic thunderings about colonial exploitation, and his reign has come to a close with a relatively simple whimper.
Cherchez la femme
This whole situation came about because the young, attractive, socialite, fashionista wife of old Robert Mugabe was about to take over the country. All of the old-school, gun-toting thugs that could claim favours from the old despot could not rely on "Gucci Grace" to dispense the same sort of treatment. For months, Mugabe's sons had been bragging about their wealth and possessions on Instagram and other social media platforms, while the image of Grace in the eyes of the public came to resemble that of Marie Antoinette - indifferent to the plight of the unwashed masses. As sycophants who fawned on Grace were promoted to higher positions of office, worry began to spread throughout the ranks of the military and the "war veterans" associations. When vice-president Emmerson Mnangagwa was abruptly booted from his position, Mugabe had finally made one move too big, and too soon. Before Grace or one of her surrogates could replace Mnangagwa, the army stepped in, suspended government and forced the old bastard to resign publicly.So, with the situation in Southern Africa looking as though it will settle down into some mild electoral froo-frah, it looks as though there should be some stability and perhaps a bit of prosperity in the region before the next power-crazed lunatic seizes power and declares himself king-for life, just like:
- Amin in Uganda
- Mobuto in Congo
- Hastings Banda in Malawi
- Charles Taylor in Liberia
- Nguema in Equatorial Guinea
Until we know the name of the next insane, torturing, paranoid, kleptomaniacal, genocidal dictator, we'll just consider Zimbabwe steady for now.
I will launch into what I hope will be a lengthy tirade against subhuman pervert Roy Moore that will spill into a generalized condemnation of all people who value adherence to a political party or ideology greater than the concepts of decency, morality, and compassion.
I will do that at a later point, however, as I grow weary.
I shall return with more vigor. Until then, good night England and the Colonies.
—mARKUS
No comments:
Post a Comment