Number Sixteen.

Greetings, gentle readers.
Although I'm sure that very few people in existence are waiting in breathless anticipation of my personal estimation of publicly recognisable female figures, I thought that I should try and keep a schedule that would allow me to finish this season's tables before the next one begins. So without too much ado, here is what has happened in sixteenth spot in the pulchritudinous premiership...
Last season, this spot was held jointly by
Jennifer and Cynthia Dale.
These two Canadian sisters, originally of the family name Ciurluini, are inspiring and talented actresses and performers. Last season, I copped out in judgement by including both of them, since choosing once sister over another is generally a poor decision in general. Parents out there know that to which I refer. Jennifer, pictured to the right, is probably best known cinematically for such critically acclaimed films as "Whale Music", and "The Adjuster", though admittedly neither of them is renowned for spectacular box office success. She has done a metaphorical ton of television work, however, most notably in terms of popular culture in "John Woo's Once A Thief." American readers might recognise her from her performance as Jacqueline Bouvier-Kennedy-Onassis-Etc. in the TV special "Hoover vs. The Kennedys : The Second Civil War."
Cynthia, Jennifer's younger sister, may be slightly more recognisable to those of us not intimately acquainted with the Canadian film industry. She appeared in such films as "My Bloody Valentine" and "Moonstruck" in the 1980's before landing a role on the television series "Street Legal."
Both sisters are immensely talented, possessed of a startling degree of altruism and integrity, and display equally impressive intelligence, composure and eloquence.
That being said, they are no longer sixteenth in the tables. I'm probably just demonstrating my not inconsiderable predilections towards cowardice and sloth.
In other words, it doesn't seem fair to the other nineteen spots on the list, doesn't seem æsthetically consistent, plus I loathe any kind of confrontation, even within my own mind that this might cause, and finally - it's more work for me if they're both on the list. More writing, more visuals... Easier for all concerned if the reform of the table tended toward a more uniform structure. Another cop-out answer, to be sure. Be that as it may, you may recognise the lass who now occupies this spot. It's...
Ali Landry
The brave lady from Breaux Bridge, Louisiana who recently made some headlines in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. She was previously seventeenth in the table and has managed to climb one place because of her giving, outgoing and open personality as well as the astonishing alacrity with which she threw herself into efforts to seek relief for those in the Gulf of Mexico affected by the recent meteorological unhappiness.
Plus of course, all of the earlier characteristics which I earlier described, and which got her into the tables in the first place last season, as being desirable and attractive still hold true. She's funny, doesn't take herself too seriously, has a very understanding and communicative nature, and enjoys professional sports.
Plus, she was also born during the same year that I was, so that removes any sort of stigma of age-discrimination. This Premiership table doesn't exclusively desire to cradle-rob or to hang about leering into zimmer-frame shops. It's about quality and merit, not the number of 25th of Decembers a woman has seen. So her inclusion allows me the opportunity to make that distinction clear and remove it from the forum of debate.
Well, that exhausts me capacity to remain upright. Back soon with more football commentary and poetic analysis or whatever dubious authenticity either one might have. Cheerio, and spare a thought for Sir Spike Milligan, Sir Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Michael Bentine. All sorely missed. Good night, England and the colonies...

-mARKUS
^+Justice for the 96+^