Rather than launch directly into my narrative of the greatest night of the past 20 years, I thought I'd begin my countdown of the 20 Most Desirable Females, since that would be a slightly less arduous exercise, and one that I can complete within the amount of time that I can stay vertical without suffering unduly. So, for the season 2005-2006, we begin with the relegation zone, and number twenty, hoping to get to number one before... erm... too long.
Last season's final table was quite different from the start of the season, with only one competitor beginning in the relegation zone going down by the time all the dust had settled. That one competitor began at number 20 and unfortunately finished in the same spot. One year in the top-flight, and she's back down to contend with the also-rans and the wanna-bes.
And so, we bid a fond adieu to...
Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton.
Arkansas' First Lady for 12 years, winner of a spoken word Grammy Award, First Lady of the United States, advocate for health care reform, U.S. Senator for the state of New York, author, mother and lawyer - Hillary embodies a tremendously strong female persona and would not be out of place with someone like Emily Pankhurst in the pantheon of role models for women in the historical and political spheres. Dropping her to the lower divisions by no means indicates that she has suddenly become undesirable or less interesting. However, like Emily, she has moved into that field where she can be considered amongst the "hypotheticals", and not the "practicals". It would have been fascinating to discuss the effects of 9/11 on the State of New York. Three and a half years ago. It would have been great to hear her position and perspective on health care reform (particularly in view of what we know now) when she first chaired the Task Force on Health Care Reform in 1993. As the season progressed, she emerged as a woman of her time whose historical significance eclipses her personal legacy.
Now, since the season has already begun, the play-off winners from the lower divisions are not necessarily located at the base of the tables. As we currently stand in mid-August, the occupant of the 20th spot on the charts is...
Janeane Garofalo
Slipping from ninth in last season's standings, Janeane didn't quite hit the drop zone and avoided relegation tenaciously. She's still a fascinating conversationalist with a great sense of humour, but hasn't been seen or heard from as frequently as in previous times. The scarcity of output and production from this actress/comedienne harmed her chances and some of her flaky and trendy west-coast, left-wing quirks have started to lose some of their cutesiness. That being said, she's still fighting amongst the créme de la créme. Probably something to do with her ability to seem simultaneously perky and depressively self-deprecatory. And she's certainly an individual.So there we have it. The first 5% of the top 20. And simultaneously, two mysteries have been revealed - we now know one of the relegation victims, and we know of someone who's lost a bit of ground on the rest of the pack. We still don't know the three women promoted, and we're still waiting to see who is currently sitting atop the table. Stay tuned, gentle readers, for the many thrills and chills remaining that are still straining at the slip like rabid greyhounds eager for the chase. Til next we meet in Frightenstone, don't come alone.
Cheers,
-mARKUS
^+Justice for the 96+^
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