Last entry, I began rattling off some brief reviews of films that have been recently released with very little fanfare. Well, without too much extraneous ado, I thought that I would ignore the negligible viewership and continue in that vein until I've run my critical eye over every cinematic offering of the last two or three years that eludes the categories of "blockbuster", "tent-pole", and "hit."
Who Else Is In It?
Dark Crimes (2016)
Whatever happened to Jim Carrey's career? It's a question that has floated about Hollywood since his strange interviews following the release of "Kick Ass 2" (2013). To briefly recap, he played a vigilante named Col. Stars and Stripes in a very cynical parody of Captain America. He then puzzled members of the press during the brief promotional tour by insisting that he be withdrawn from the credits because he was sick of mass shootings and gun culture in the United States. The transition from rubber-faced, fart-joking, gurning village idiot to stony, sober, social critic has apparently become complete with his turn in this grim, grey, and thoroughly humourless production. It's a bleak whodunit set in Eastern Europe, and the murder investigation leads to all manner of unhappiness, dolefully dredged by a moribund Carrey. Not a great film to pair with "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" for a children's matinee double-header. Intellectually interesting, but cinematographically routine. One and a half jellybeans out of five.Kill Kane (2016)
Former Wimbledon FC hardman Vinnie Jones has chiselled himself a certain niche in Hollywood productions since he started stealing scenes in former Madonna-spouse Guy Ritchie films like "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" (1998) and "Snatch" (2000). Some may argue that his film career hit its apex in 2000's Nicolas Cage/Angelina Jolie vehicle "Gone in 60 Seconds." This film will not contradict that assertion. A jumbled mess that tries to use jump-cut editing to try and artificially create a sense of tension and immediacy in an otherwise simple, linear tale of revenge, "Kill Kane" fails miserably. The flashbacks are rather meaningless, and actually counter-productive in some cases because there is no discrepancy of knowledge. For example, if we know in the present that a character is dead, a later flashback sequence that hinges its suspense on the survival of that character is stupid. I was hoping for more, considering the participation of "Ming the Merciless"-clone Sean Cronin, whose performance stood out in "We Still Steal the Old Way." (2017) Instead, this is just a frustrating slapdash production that does not merit an evening's investment. Half a jellybean. Barely.Message From The King (2016)
For those still giddy from watching Chadwick Boseman in 2018's "Black Panther," this film may be a bit of a disappointment. Inconsistently engaging and with a strangely slow pace, it is difficult to enjoy. Basically, it is a fish-out-of-water culture-shock revenge story of a South African man looking for his sister in Los Angeles. The credits have barely stopped rolling when we discover that the protagonist's sister has been murdered and he has until his return flight leaves for Cape Town to exact his revenge on the evil-doers. Luke (Bard of Lake Town) Evans and Alfred (Otto Octavius) Molina pop up in the chain of typically corrupt and perverse Americans that Boseman must navigate on his route to fulfill his quest. An early opportunity for Boseman to work on his African accent before going on to become eternally recognized as the King of Wakanda, with one or two interesting action sequences, but little else of consequence. Two jellybeans.Crooked House (2017)
Another film adaptation of that greatest of all novelists, Agatha Christie. This particular version changes the time setting of the novel to an England balancing on the advent of the Beatles - a society about to discover rock and roll, about to leave the postwar coupon-book austerity for a new exciting future of televisions and sports cars, yet still haunted by the echoes of aristocratic class warfare. Several acting performances stand out, including Gillian Anderson as a faded celebrity and Julian Sands as the arrogant lord of a decaying manor. But as much as one suspects that this was designed to mark the beginning of an ascendance of Jeremy Irons' son, Max, the film is really stolen by a mesmerizing performance from Glenn Close as the batty and eccentric aunt, preoccupied with poisoning, shooting, and detonating the moles and other vermin infesting the grounds of the titular Crooked House. A fabulous murder-mystery with all of the twists one expects from Christie, and all of the creepy, suspicious mannerisms and quirks that can be fully developed by a talented and engaging cast. Worth the watch. Four jellybeans.I'm out of steam for the time being, but rest assured that I'll keep on trying to work through my list of films I have watched from my couch of invalidity as soon as possible. Until then, here's
My Latest Random Playlist
In another attempt to find meaning in the stochastic, here's what I heard during my last shower.Eleanor Rigby, by The Beatles
Feeling Lazy, by Lightning Seeds
Sweet Jane, by Mott the Hoople
Nobody's Child, by The Travelling Wilburys
Old Brown Shoe, by The Beatles
My Sharona, by The Knack
All Along The Watchtower, by Bob Dylan and the Grateful Dead
Lady Madonna. by The Beatles
The Rain Song, by Led Zeppelin
And that's all for now. Until later, good night England and the Colonies.
—mARKUS
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