Greetings, gentle readers.
Once upon a time, in a university not so far away, I was a contributing reporter to a campus newspaper, and for a lark, I sent in a letter to the editor discussing why beautiful, intelligent, and attractive women always seem to end up dating brutish, insensitive clods, and complain to us sensitive guy-folk about why their dating lives are so miserable. I was in a situation where I had a number of really otherwise interesting women spend all of their time with me moaning about how their boyfriends were total jerks. Here I am years later, and the same problem keeps resurfacing. Women consciously or subconsciously choose the scummiest segment of the male population for romantic involvement, and although I confess that I'm by no means an example of male pulchritude, it seems to be fellows like me that not only get passed over, but are subsequently sought out as sources for consolation during the ensuing misery.
So why do women find arrogant bastards so attractive? And why do they walk into the same trap repeatedly without ever seeming to realize that their catastrophic love-lives are largely of their own making? And why have I been without a girlfriend since May, 2002? Is it my fragrance? A lack of pheromones? But back to the earlier questions...
According to current anthropological thought, women are driven by two considerations when seeking to find a mate: security and support. Desmond Morris postulates that the first thing a woman looks for is programmed into the historical psyche of femininity - the desire for an alpha male. In a hunter-gatherer society, it is logical in terms of survival and reproduction to want the biggest and the strongest male to donate his genetic material to a future child. After all, the big and the strong are most likely the best able to kill dinner and bring it home, as well as protect the family unit from things that see humans as dinner. The second consideration comes into play later. Who's going to help raise the child and give emotional support to the family unit?
This is where women get stuck. They want the same guy to do both things. The hulking brute who can bring down a woolly mammoth and fend off sabretoothed tigers is very rarely into Haagen-Dazs, Meg Ryan movies, and cuddling.
So when looking for a mate, the first thing that women find attractive, aside from physical appearance, is confidence. Confidence is usually closely linked to capability. It's also closely linked with abrasive arrogance. So the loud, strutting and obnoxious musclebound chowderhead with the wife-beater t-shirt and greasy trousers will have his pick of girlfriends, while Bill Gates at age 21 would be more likely to be struck by a meteor, a lightning bolt, and a freight train filled with wombats simultaneously than have a girl say any sentence longer than "You want fries with that?" to him.
The best way to express the situation, in terms of Jungian archetypes, is to say that women want to tame a wild stallion. If the rough, uncultured lout with the muscles can be changed into a polite and caring guy, he'd be the best kind and caring guy ever. Only problem is that no one I know has ever been successful at such a thing, and the American chat shows so prevalent on TV like Maury, Montel, and Oprah are filled with failed attempts. And in fact, most male pop-culture sex symbols tend to implode spectacularly, leaving behind widows and orphans. Jim Morrison was sexy. Jim Morrison is also dead. James Dean was sexy. He was also known as "the ashtray" because he liked to stub out cigarettes on his arms before he crashed his Porsche and died.
So what can I say? If people are preconditioned in terms of behaviour and preference, then most women are doomed to prefer guys like Kurt Cobain and Tommy Lee over lads like Peter Gabriel and Nicky Wire, and they'll keep falling into the same traps over and over again. I can only speculate on why, and I certainly don't have a recipe to fix things or people.
As for me, I'll just spew out a string of clichés. Romantically, I'm like 7-11. I may not be doing business, but I'm always open. And if love is a two-way street, right now all the traffic is on-coming. No one's going my way, and it's been like that for so long now that I've just relaxed and considered it normal. I'm so inured to the indifference of others that any woman that would actually want to spend time with me would have to smack me on the nose with a rolled up newspaper to convince me that someone cares.
But enough of that. Need to finish serving out my graveyard shift this morning and then rush home to play with Jim's PS/2 which he has so generously donated to my Vortex of Total Entertainment, a.k.a. My Basement. Fifa 2005 is the greatest thing since glueless spice racks.
So until next time, good night England and the colonies. Cheers,
-mARKUS
^+Justice for the 96+^
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Story. Of. My. Life.
So about 4 years ago I started yelling at girls who do this. I don't give them the emotional support they aren't getting from their boyfriends. I tell them that until they wise up and stop dating assholes, I'm not a shoulder for them to cry on.
So far only one girl has wised up. But it's a start.
-- Mikeus
Hallelujah!
At last, someone is taking a stand and trying to change the world. Think globally - act locally, I always say. Except that I'm a total hypocrite because although I completely advocate telling women to shut up and wise up, I could never do it personally. I'm so passive-aggressively non-confrontational that it's nauseating. I'm trapped in the persona of someone who is so fundamentally nice that he can't help but be friendly and caring in all conceivable circumstances.
However, this doesn't preclude my ability to cheer on people like Mike, who will vocally instruct women on why they're so miserable, or people like my good friend Cliff O'Neill who will deliberately act like jerks and hurt women gratuitously. Cliff was my hero as I went through university. His mother left his father when he was a baby, and his dad had to raise him and his brother by himself, so Cliff has a grudge against all women.
If you go to my father's office and look under the front counter, there will be a long column of letters. Cliff had his red corvette convertible one summer, and was getting more action than that at which one could comfortably shake a stick. So he decided to start recording his conquests by scrawling their initials under the counter every shift. And once he'd gotten to know them in the biblical sense, he would completely brush them off.
"Here's your cab fare, get out."
He was like Andrew Dice Clay on viagra.
Why did I idolize him? Because he validated my existence. I didn't have a girlfriend, and it would be easy to slump into self-pity and say that I'm ugly and unattractive, but Cliff demonstrably proved that it wasn't my problem - it was women. They were dumb enough to fall for his act, and they were stupid enough to care about him, when his interest in them was more shallow than a pothole on Jasper Avenue. And I'll bet that nary a one of those women learned anything from the experience. I was lonely and sad, and Cliff was the vicarious means by which I punished women for rejecting me.
Now I'm still lonely and sad, but I've lost that malicious feeling. I consider it a deterministic factor beyond my control, and go about my miserable existence as best as I can.
So a big huzzah out to Mike, and hopefully, some of the wake-up alarm bells in women's heads will start to ring.
Cheers,
-mARKUS
^+Justice for the 96+^
The only problem being, the one girl who wised up is now taken - by me - with her picture lingering around my cubicle as much as possible.
It would seem that those who do wise up are quickly snatched up by the many men in our position - that of disgusted helplessness.
When I take over the world, I will be re-educating women with the following message.
YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU HAVE WORTH. YOU ARE NOT A DOORMAT. IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY, GET TO WORK AND CHANGE THINGS UNTIL YOU ARE HAPPY. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU HAVE WORTH......
I will also be re-educating internet users that "u" and "r" are not words. That will be done with electro-shock therapy. Those who choose to remain ignorant and bigoted in the use of "gay" will be re-educated with electro-probe-shock therapy, since I am evil.
cheers!
Mike
I think your views on this are skewed. It's not the dumb and brutish that attract a woman's feelings. It's confidence. You seem to show again and again in your Blogs that your self esteem levels are equal to that of a 300lb kid competing in the olympics.
If you had the choice between two women of equal taste and value, you would most deffinatly choose the more self reliant and confident of the two. Confidence is insipiring. When the memeber of our spiecies (both genders) look for a mate the tend to search for qualities that would enhance thier own. The exception to the rule is the shovanist. But now it's come down to 2 things. How good do you look and how good do you feel about yourself. It's not important if you can take down a sumo or leap tall buildings in a single bound. What's truely important is knowing the you can, wether it's true or not! The reason your being outdone in the market by the brutish thug, is because he has better salesmanship. On a side note, a persons confidence will reflect directly on a persons physicle appeal as well. Nothing is more attractive then a person that walks with a purpose.
As For being the sensitive man that the chicks run too your at an advantage. Instead of soothing her misery, show her a good time and walk with a purpose ;-) (also helps if you have money)
David -He pretends he knows what he talking about!
Post a Comment