Where are those Meerkat Things?

Greetings, gentle readers.

After a couple of journeys into the bush, what we find is this:

Apparently, there is some sort of numerical preoccupation within African zoological circles involving the number five.  The elephant, rhino, hippo, lion, and leopard apparently make up “The Big Five.”  Apparently, some sort of Musk Ox can be substituted for the rhino in some circles, but I find myself diametrically opposed to those circles.  Leaving that tangent, there are “The Feline Five,” numbering the lion, panther, leopard, cheetah, and ocelot.  According to bush guide Lizzy, there are also “The Ugly Five.”  She didn’t list them, but she did say that the blue wildebeest was a prime example.

In keeping with that spirit, I’ll nominate my “Fascinating Five,” which would be my list of African creatures with cool back stories.  Anyone who heard me babble about this sort of thing before can attest that I dig on zebra mussels, stone martens, tarantula hawks, etc.  This lot may not be quite as super-dynamic as others, but I’ve got pictures of these ones and they’ve got charming back stories.

The European Bee-eater

Like Homer Simpson, this organism loves doughnuts.

I don’t know if this wee fella is a European bird that eats bees or an African bird that feeds exclusively on European bees.  I have the same problem with Dutch Elm disease.  Apparently, this brightly-plumed bird knows no fear of humans and eats ravenously.  This is an obnoxious and extroverted animal with a cry that resembles fingernails on the chalkboard of your soul.

The Maribou Stork

No one likes him, and he doesn't care.

Described by guide Godfrey as a species that “does some cleaning-up,” this is a good example of nature’s loathing of a vacuum.  Apparently the trees in this particular valley are too low-slung to make vultures comfortable, so some other avian needed to fill that niche.  Niches love avians.  When there is no other scavenger about to pick bones clean as they bleach in the sun, the Maribou will step up to the plate.  They also do an Easter impression every morning and evening, spreading their wings to perform some thermal solar collection.  They also find safety in branches poking out of shallow lakes.  They also don’t know that they’re Jersey-ugly and that’s the real reason no-one likes them.  Poor things.

The Baboon

Those dam-dirty apes.

The troop that I saw was composed of rather ingenious little bounders.  To protect the troop, the females, the weak, the sick, and the young spend each night on top of the concrete dam near the middle of the reserve.   The bigger males stand guard at each end of the dam, preventing any sort of threat from reaching the troop by land.  Besides that, they are apparently prime pickings for leopards, and their continued existence in the land of stealth ghost cats bespeaks enormous improvisational skills.

The Giraffe

As I alluded in a previous blog, giraffes have exactly the same number of neck vertebra as humans.  Or dogs.  Or platypi.  Or any mammal, regardless of venomousness or egg-laying predilections.  It’s another piece of that wondrous and fabulous tapestry of evolutionary biology that furnishes the exotic palace of scientific and rational endeavour.

The Hippo

OK, so the hippo is a part of the big Five, but then, two of the Big Five are also members of the Feline Five, so cross-pollination is permitted.  The most homicidally murderous creature in Africa (with the exception of insects like the mosquito, tse-tse fly, or other vectors for fatal bacteria and parasites), the hippo has been dodging attention for generations while racking up huge kill numbers of people.  Great White Sharks?  Minnows compared to these behemoths.  Snakes?  Kill a remarkably small number of people.  

Hippos trample people, smash their canoes, absent-mindedly amputate limbs, and are generally unrepentant about the whole deal.

Off to East London now.  More thoughts on things on the Eastern Cape when I land.

Good night England and the Colonies.

—mARKUS