Greetings, gentle readers.
Since last we met, the European Championships of 2008 have taken another couple of weird turns for the more interesting. The heavily-favoured, and hitherto undefeated Dutch team were soundly thumped in the Quarter-Finals by none other than... the Russians? In the most heroic display since Lev Yashin last pulled on the black jersey for the USSR, Akinfeev, Arshavin, Pavlyuchenko and company have astonished the footballing world by playing the famous "total football" style back at the historically-acclaimed creators of the system—and beating them at their own game. In English terms, the previously Matt LeTissier-esque Pavlyuchenko has suddenly turned into a lean Shearer-like machine, and the indecisive Arshavin of two years ago has been replaced with one with aspirations to be another Steven Gerrard. Suddenly, the Russians could play counter-attack and offensively press flank play as well as any Dutch squad since Van Basten was a player.
Oh, and the Italians lost in a penalty shootout. Does that mean that Gianluigi Buffon (the world's highest-paid goalkeeper) is rubbish? No. I hate to reiterate a sports cliché, but the Spaniards wanted it more. Even if all of their Liverpool players were off the pitch at the time.
But moving on to the Reach for the Top National competition of last month, it was a whirlwind of emotion at the seeding tournament. There were twelve teams from across Canada participating:
Auburn Drive High School from Nova Scotia
Burnaby North High School from British Columbia
Carberry Collegiate High from Manitoba
Harry Ainlay High School from Alberta
Kennebecasis Valley High from New Brunswick
Lisgar Collegiate High from Ontario
Oromocto High from New Brunswick
Royal West High from Montréal, Quebec
Saint Paul's High from Manitoba
Sir Winston Churchill High from British Columbia
University of Toronto School from Ontario
West Island College High School from Alberta
Several of these teams had participated in the 2007 edition of the Reach for the Top nationals, and not without some success. What the seeding tournament revealed was that there were bound to be some surprises from the previous year.
John Clarke, returning from the previous year, led his Vancouver team from Sir Winston Churchill in a stronger and more confident fashion than ever before, and his team mates grew in stature when in his presence. The New Brunswick contingents seemed calmer and more assured, despite the loss of some key players from the previous year. Christina Entz was the most vocal, if not the most charismatic of the returning challengers. No Peter Burton to stop either of them this year...
The tension builds as we wait for the next instalment of this gripping tale...
(possibly before the Germany-Turkey semifinal on Wednesday...)
Cheers,
-mARKUS
23 June 2008
21 June 2008
Underdogs and Platyhelminthes
Greetings, gentle readers.
It has been a long time, I confess. But enough has happened that it is no longer viable for me to remain silent.
First off, it was promised that I would detail the madcap and amazing events of the 2008 Canadian Reach for the Top Finals held in Edmonton, Alberta. This shall be accomplished. In those particular jurisdictions where the television recordings of the events showed the play-by-play chronicle of the academic cataclysm, enough time has now passed since the actual conclusion that I will not be spoiling anyone's white-knuckled, knee-clacking anticipation of the tournament's outcome. Therefore, I can spill the beans about the behind the scenes machinations without fear of reprisals of a magnitude exceeding my fortitude.
But first, a quick word about Turkey, or as I like to refer to the Eurasian nation, Dinde. In the 2008 European Football Championships, they have won three consecutive amazing games, each more astonishing than the last. They began the tournament as rank outsiders, and that opinion seemed to be confirmed when Portugal rolled over them 2 - 0 in the first match of the tournament. They then came back from a one-goal deficit against the Swiss to score two goals in the second half, and consequently win the game. Not content with that, they went down TWO goals against the highly-favoured Czech Republic, only to go berzerk and score three in the latter stages of the second half, eventually scoring the winning goal one minute from full-time.
Not content to be the Cinderella story that pipped the Czechs to proceed to the Quarter-Finals, they then pulled off one of the most miraculous comebacks in living memory in said Quarter-Finals by scoring with literal femtoseconds remaining before the referee blew his whistle for the end of extra-time. That tied the game against (favourites) Croatia. Then they kept their nerve to win a penalty shootout. Now they're off to the Semi-Finals for the first time in history, and good on them. Whatever Yankee jackanapes coined the term "stick-to-it-iveness" should be commended for his quasi-folksy, condescending, unfunny jargon because in this case, it actually seems to hold a modicum of relevance.
When I return, I shall ask everyone to cast their minds back to the verdant green and insect-free month of May, when the narrative shall begin with the Reach for the Top National Tournament seeding round, held at Harry Ainlay High School.
Twelve teams from schools across Canada clashed in an effort to ostensibly demonstrate who had the most general knowledge. The problem that became apparent early was that "ostensibly" became an operative watchword. The criterion for success was neither skill nor speed of response, but the knowledge of the conventions of the game. Once upon a time, a typical Dungeons and Dragons module could be eventually conquered by someone with the cleverness to take four wizard's staves, a bunch of oil (back in the day, people carried oil because it supposedly hurt kobolds), a stack of dead kobolds, and 50' of rope (everyone always carried rope. Even before "Boondock Saints" was released) to create a pulley system that would act as a means of vertical transportation. That took cleverness and ingenuity. After a while, people got used to the system, however. Soon, everyone and his or her pet animal had numerous bags of holding, each of which contained all sorts of rubbish like Heward's Magical Organ, which would warp reality according to the songs you played on it. Suddenly, you didn't need to really role-play the game any more, you just followed whichever path of least resistance toward victory you personally liked the most.
In the same way, Reach for the Top has reached a stage in its development wherein it no longer matters whether or not someone has read, say, the works of Henry David Thoreau in order to succeed. All the person needs to know is that the questions are always phrased in a similar, formulaic fashion, and that any question containing the word "Walden" is likely to require a response of Thoreau. The writers of the questions rarely deal with Garry Trudeau and don't like asking students anything to do with B. F. Skinner. Play enough games, and the patterns of the questions become clear.
Once acclimatised to the conventions of the games, and the mindsets of the contributing question writers, one only needs to memorize the facts that will be at stake. It's a bit like studying from past exams. And in this tournament, the pattern of success was well mapped out from the outset.
Until the next installment, I remain your faithful commentator,
-mARKUS
It has been a long time, I confess. But enough has happened that it is no longer viable for me to remain silent.
First off, it was promised that I would detail the madcap and amazing events of the 2008 Canadian Reach for the Top Finals held in Edmonton, Alberta. This shall be accomplished. In those particular jurisdictions where the television recordings of the events showed the play-by-play chronicle of the academic cataclysm, enough time has now passed since the actual conclusion that I will not be spoiling anyone's white-knuckled, knee-clacking anticipation of the tournament's outcome. Therefore, I can spill the beans about the behind the scenes machinations without fear of reprisals of a magnitude exceeding my fortitude.
But first, a quick word about Turkey, or as I like to refer to the Eurasian nation, Dinde. In the 2008 European Football Championships, they have won three consecutive amazing games, each more astonishing than the last. They began the tournament as rank outsiders, and that opinion seemed to be confirmed when Portugal rolled over them 2 - 0 in the first match of the tournament. They then came back from a one-goal deficit against the Swiss to score two goals in the second half, and consequently win the game. Not content with that, they went down TWO goals against the highly-favoured Czech Republic, only to go berzerk and score three in the latter stages of the second half, eventually scoring the winning goal one minute from full-time.
Not content to be the Cinderella story that pipped the Czechs to proceed to the Quarter-Finals, they then pulled off one of the most miraculous comebacks in living memory in said Quarter-Finals by scoring with literal femtoseconds remaining before the referee blew his whistle for the end of extra-time. That tied the game against (favourites) Croatia. Then they kept their nerve to win a penalty shootout. Now they're off to the Semi-Finals for the first time in history, and good on them. Whatever Yankee jackanapes coined the term "stick-to-it-iveness" should be commended for his quasi-folksy, condescending, unfunny jargon because in this case, it actually seems to hold a modicum of relevance.
When I return, I shall ask everyone to cast their minds back to the verdant green and insect-free month of May, when the narrative shall begin with the Reach for the Top National Tournament seeding round, held at Harry Ainlay High School.
Twelve teams from schools across Canada clashed in an effort to ostensibly demonstrate who had the most general knowledge. The problem that became apparent early was that "ostensibly" became an operative watchword. The criterion for success was neither skill nor speed of response, but the knowledge of the conventions of the game. Once upon a time, a typical Dungeons and Dragons module could be eventually conquered by someone with the cleverness to take four wizard's staves, a bunch of oil (back in the day, people carried oil because it supposedly hurt kobolds), a stack of dead kobolds, and 50' of rope (everyone always carried rope. Even before "Boondock Saints" was released) to create a pulley system that would act as a means of vertical transportation. That took cleverness and ingenuity. After a while, people got used to the system, however. Soon, everyone and his or her pet animal had numerous bags of holding, each of which contained all sorts of rubbish like Heward's Magical Organ, which would warp reality according to the songs you played on it. Suddenly, you didn't need to really role-play the game any more, you just followed whichever path of least resistance toward victory you personally liked the most.
In the same way, Reach for the Top has reached a stage in its development wherein it no longer matters whether or not someone has read, say, the works of Henry David Thoreau in order to succeed. All the person needs to know is that the questions are always phrased in a similar, formulaic fashion, and that any question containing the word "Walden" is likely to require a response of Thoreau. The writers of the questions rarely deal with Garry Trudeau and don't like asking students anything to do with B. F. Skinner. Play enough games, and the patterns of the questions become clear.
Once acclimatised to the conventions of the games, and the mindsets of the contributing question writers, one only needs to memorize the facts that will be at stake. It's a bit like studying from past exams. And in this tournament, the pattern of success was well mapped out from the outset.
Until the next installment, I remain your faithful commentator,
-mARKUS
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